Thank you Beloved Nomanono for this moment, giving me an opportunity to ponder with you all, what you feel when things don’t go your way? Do you feel like screaming on top of your voices, for whoever has not facilitated what you really were expecting? Do you sing and dance hoping that at the right time, the right situation that resonates with you will come up?
There was a time when I wanted something that didn’t happen in the way I wanted. This is when I was a young woman, long before I met my first cousin Jesus. I really took my parents to task, because you see, in today’s terms, I suppose I would have been labelled a spoiled brat! Well, my parents were very well off. I didn’t understand at that time, why they didn’t provide me with what I wanted, and at that time, it was as if my whole life depended on my particular desire! My parents had always provided me with everything I wanted. But this time, for something that they could easily afford, they said No, and yet, they had previously given me things that were more financially expensive!
I shut myself in my room. I didn’t go to have dinner and prayers with them. I shut myself out. To me at that time they had rejected me! How dare they? What were their riches for, when they didn’t give their only precious daughter what she wanted? What they cleverly did, which to me was inflicting more pain into my soul, their daughter, they stopped asking me to join them for meals and prayers. The silence from my parents was unbearable! I felt so unloved. And because as the days went by, I really wanted to eat because I was starving, even though I didn’t want to admit to them; I started thinking of ways of getting myself some leftovers when my parents were not around. To my surprise, there were no leftovers, when I sneaked into the kitchen area! I couldn’t believe their cruelty!
Then I realised that if I didn’t ask them for forgiveness I wouldn’t be able to eat for a long time and I would die of starvation! So I gently took it upon me to begin to be nice. Even when I did; it was a one word, one response situation. I didn’t understand why my parents had become so different and not loving! You see, I only thought of me and never thought of them. How they were feeling and I had not even asked them to give me reasons for their refusal to give me what I had wanted. And at that time I was desperate for food! And they had made sure that I woke up! I did! Grudgingly though!
The purpose of this story is to highlight that we are always very good at blaming others. Seeing others as wrong and not asking ourselves why they are wrong and why are we right? We never see a bigger picture in situations. Years later, when my Beloved Jesus went through the crucifixion, it came to me that, my parents actually prepared me for the pain that I felt over his crucifixion and everything that followed.
Going into exile. They prepared me, for the denial of what one most wants and are unable to have! And one has to find a way to survive! Right now Beloveds, you are each called to survive in the best way you can, knowing that you are going to survive because you must. And for you these tools of; joy, gratitude, happiness and laughter, will uplift you. Remember that there is only you to uplift yourself! And only you can laugh. No one can laugh for you!
I love each and everyone of you Beloveds. You are very strong and powerful! Keep rising in each moment.
I am Mary Magdalene.
~ Mary Magdalene